Talking roofs
Ratis poems for Hatto
"I also think that poetry should talk to architects, engineers and planners. As i find that the planing in Indian houses are so conservative these days, I remember that in my childhood days, the roof of the houses were side by side, so we could easily talk to our neighbour at late night even. Those days in summer... we used to sleep on the open roofs (you will be laughing ) but it was fun, telling stories about ghosts were the best things. That culture made us close to each other, but these modern houses are totally separated from each other. And children don't have times for stories, they just play on laptop..... my god... what will they do....in my family, I am the only person who writes poetry and that is because I spend my childhood in my village with my villager aunt. I think the modern society should reconstruct the system."
Rati Saxena, letter from 6.9.2012
All Those Sins
All those sins
I’m trying to forget,
Piled on my back
Growing like mountains
Now I am
A snail
Slow, slow and slow
*
Time is changing
I look at the mirror
The Calendar is
Only an echo of figures
*
Embracing the umbilical cord
I want to sleep
In the womb
Of eternity
So?
Should I pass again through
Pangs of pain?
*
Everyone in search of
A flute
To entice
All the rats
Chinese astrology
Says
This is the Year of the Rat
*
I offer my karma
To astrologers
Now they tell me
All about my
Eating, drinking and sleeping
Where’s my upper part
Above the neck?
The Hymn of the Lost Slippers
The taste is very bitter, from tongue to throat, down to the intestine, bitterness Everywhere,
Everything’s bitter, the toothpaste in the tube, the broken brush. everything
Till nightfall, everything was fine, a good sleep and endless dreams . . .
Most of the dreams disappeared with night, but they came with me up to the morning
And stuck to my eyelids till the eyes opened
There were a number of slippers and I was searching for mine
There my flight’s ready to go, here my slippers are missing
Why should I give up my journey because of slippers? I told myself
But a journey by air without slippers is out of the question
How many steps can I walk without slippers?
These slippers are my feet and my knees;
And my legs? Oh, they’re only sticks
Which can’t walk without slippers;
Slippers are my identity, my personality
They’re the height by which I can touch the sky
They’re my present and future
The beauty of my dress;
Reincarnation
I placed my genes
On the laboratory table
And thus began my search
For my past life’s story
My genes fluttered, but didn’t fly
I understood too well
I was never a butterfly
Never a bird
My wings never had that verve.
My genes lay still
Didn’t even crawl
I never lived the earthworm’s life
Forget the tales of ants and honeybees
I never could join the queue
I saw myself as a table, a chair too,
And then came to know
I was a window
The open wide
That the world looks through;
When closed, a number of worries
Are behind me
I extend the window
To the floor,
Make it a door,
Open it and come out
Tongues
My mouth teems with tongues
Of myriad hues and flavours
And turns of phrase
At first there was
Just one with me, just one
That I put on early in the mornings
And gave over to the care of sleep at night
I never realized when
The thing grew like the Aloe plant
And began to divide
Into two, then three and four sections
Sleep even now would take part in talking
With the help of tongues,
Days would lose their count
And dream-world be struck dumb
Yet in the midst of so many tongues
I have none of my own
Return Journey of Moonlight
1.
Mother is sleeping in
Mortuary’s freezer
Closed eyes
Hands on chest
Ready for purification in fire
Behind the glass cover
Her closed eyes are
Two butterflies sleeping
We feel as if they’ll flutter
At any moment
And forget to cry
2.
Geeta takes us
Beyond death
After the fourteenth chapter
Mother's bed is empty
Where is she?
Under the glass?
Or sitting here
Somewhere
Listening to the Geeta
Which she asked me to read
Long long ago
We aren’t able to cry
Not even smile
But can’t be quiet
She comes into our talk
Into our tears
And sometime with a smile
We feel her presence everywhere
3.
Forty-eight hours passed
on the icy bed
She had arthritis
Isn’t this too much cold for her?
Today she must go
Not by walking, she’s forgotten how to walk for years,
Nor with the support of that stick she’s never liked
But on four shoulders
As she came in a palaki after marriage
Mother’s taking a bath
But why on the bed?
Mother’s wearing clothes
While sleeping
Mother’s getting ready
On the wooden structure
“You still have swelling in your right foot;
How will you climb so many steps”?
Asks her daughter
She didn’t stop
She started her journey to make
Fire more pious
Don’t cry, mother asked us
This time rain came early
Maybe the sky didn’t know
4.
Mother's horoscope
In the lap of Geeta
Old and crumbled
Falls down as soon as
Someone touches the paper
Every daughter has her own experience
And her own smell of memories
Of mother
I’m trying to peep in the corners
Which are broken down
And find the life she lost
5.
Knots are open
The pot is broken
Wood is laid around
Grandson has given his offering to her fire
“May the doors of heaven…”
Elder daughter asks her god
The youngest one cries for
Her lost nest
“The Mother of a daughter
Is a queen”
Father's saying became
Alive
6.
Mother liked the river
And its banks
The boats on banks
The sway of the boats
A bath in river
And her own Krishna deity
Mother who’s hidden in a small bag
Was so happy meeting her friend River
There came a moon shadow
And then a bubble
Life is over
7.
She was the story
Which is finished
She was power
Which is diminished
She was moonlight
Which went back
She was a chapter
Which is closed
Final
“Final”
This word fills me
With fear these days:
Final wish, final moment,
Final meeting…
I have no regrets
that I’ve met no one in years
For I believe he lives
and exists
in some corner of this world
I hope , always
that he will come, one day
Without warning, smile and grasp my hand
Perhaps even embrace me…
But what if this is our final meeting?
Then the sinews of my throat, like the Koel’s,
Will cry out and
Break free from its cage
Will it flow out in a stream of blood?
This “final” word written with my life,
Will it finally be cleansed free?
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