A thread is being spun by Rati Saxena
A thread is being spun
A seed is germinating
An earth/ a ground is waking up
A sky transforms into a tree
And a little sparrow/ bird
Flies down and sits on my
Left hand’s finger
*
You, who are a piece of light,
You, the dew on the tip of a thorn
A sprout on the parched up earth
As a secret on goosebumps
Like sharpness of vision
You have come to me
Against all souls
Which were severed in the womb
For those thousands of sounds
Which sank into deep waters
An earthworm enters a deep burrow
A conch writes a word
The thread of a web
Snap… it’s broken
*
I want to read
The letters of dreams
Written on your eye lids
And learn the script
Written long before
The Indus valley civilization
Written with streams of rivers
Between mountains and rivers
I want to color my faded paintbrush
With the colors of your dreams
Rapt by trees from the skies
Before taking birth in the world
I want to write a poem
That has been soaked
In the gurgle of your inner soul
Like an oil wick with Dancing flames
And so rouse
The Anahad naad (heavenly music)
Hidden deep in my navel
*
How do you recognize
The tunes and hidden Rasas ( enchantments )
The mind and the spirit
The sounds
Produced against classicism
How do they become as sweet as milk
As soon as they reach you
Your eye lids become heavy
As you listen to my lullaby
How do you weave dreams
With the words of sleep
And how do you find
The meaning of those
That are not there
But are spread like
A tunnel maze
Up to the moment in the past
when you and I
converge into a point…
I am perplexed!
*
I spin your cry
As a thread
I embroider your smile
On to the interlaced weave
I then see your mother’s face in you
Who stretches her feet under the sun light
Counting the moments of peace
Eyes closed
She sat spinning
The golden rays of the sun
I have always seen her from a distance
With least interest
With strange enmity
Couldn’t understand the stiffness in her fingers
Or the pain in her knees
I never longed for her hug
You smile between the cries
I kiss you on your forehead
As if kissing the paining fingers
Of your mother
Mother’s half woven sheet
Descends down four steps
And sits on my lap
I find in my cupboard
Two masks
Almost 30 years old,
A little dirty but firm as new
Your mother dusts them
Decorates them
And hangs then on the wall
They begin to smile
Freed from a 30-year imprisonment
I wonder if
Mother too smiled the same way
While getting up from the cot
And hanging on the wall
You learnt to respond to the smile
I want to get rid of
All the debris of this world
And remove all the nails
So that your smile can
Spread like morning sunrays
*
History
I don’t know the history
That you wrote on the horses during war
I don’t accept the books
That test you on religion and spirituality
I ignore all cobwebs
They constrict my neck
With their red and blue noose
While I feel the whip of the Rajiya Sultan
Lakshmibai’s horse’s neighing
Seeps in my mind
I like to think
Of all the brackets
That still confine the people
Of the drugs
That have fused our brains
Of that shriek
That is still stuck in the throat
History
Has never been my friend
*
I did tell you
That you are a parcel of sun rays
I will close you in my fist
And then open it, so slowly
That you can weave a silky thorn
On your body
Then I will toss you gently
Towards the sky
So that you can open your wings yourself
You shall fly
Without forgetting to crawl
Then crawl while flying
And search for all the answers
To all those queries
In the eyes of your mother
Like question marks
Moments before her death…..
Rati Saxena
Rati Saxena explains in a letter (6.9.2012) that there is a deep philosophy behind this poem. It relates to the fact that in India women or rather girls when still in the womb are considered to be inferior to men and therefore tradition would have it that it is better to kill that girl in the womb than to let it live. On hand of an old saying, she explains what tutelage to tradition means:
"in Indian culture it was said- once you leave your father's house, you should not come back, and also once you have entered the house of your husband, you can leave it only after your death - you came on four shoulders (in the olden days the bride used to travel to the bridegroom's house on a Palaki and which means a cart carried by four man. and after death also four man should carry the cart with the dead body on it). In other words, the woman could only leave her husband also only on four shoulders."
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